Discernment Counseling

For couples unsure whether to stay together, separate, or try to repair the marriage

Discernment Counseling is a short-term, structured approach designed specifically for mixed-agenda couples—situations where one partner is leaning out of the relationship and uncertain whether repair is possible, while the other is leaning in and hoping to save the marriage.

If you or your spouse are considering divorce but are not completely sure it’s the right path, you are in a uniquely difficult place. Discernment Counseling offers a way to slow down, take a breath, and understand your options with clarity—not pressure.
Discernment Counseling

What is Discernment Counseling?

Unlike traditional couples therapy, Discernment Counseling does not aim to fix the relationship.
Instead, the goal is to help each partner:

  • Understand your own role in the challenges
  • Explore whether the problems are solvable
  • Decide with confidence what direction to take next

Both partners are treated with compassion, respect, and neutrality. There are no “good guys” or “bad guys.” Each partner’s experience is honored separately and equally.

Dr. Bill Doherty talks about Discernment Counseling

This service is for both individuals motivated to work on their marriage. If one or both of you is not sure about the marriage and whether couples therapy can help, click here.

On the brink of divorce? This is not the best service for you. Click here to learn how I can help you and your marriage.

Ambivalent because you aren’t sure you want to be married? No problem. Click here to learn about a service designed specifically for you.

Bill Devorick and Bill Doherty 2026

Bill Devorick with Dr. Bill Doherty at the 2026 Discernment Counseling Symposium.

Discernment Counseling may be right for you if:

  • One partner is considering divorce
  • You feel stuck in a cycle of conflict or uncertainty
  • You’re unsure whether couples therapy will help
  • You want a structured, non-pressured approach to understand your options
  • You need clarity before making a life-altering decision
Considering Discernment Counseling

Discernment Counseling is NOT Appropriate if

  • One spouse has already made a final decision to divorce
  • One spouse is coercing the other to participate
  • There is danger of domestic violence

Your Three Possible Outcomes

By the end of Discernment Counseling, most couples gain clarity about one of three paths:

Stay the course
(no immediate changes)

Separate/divorce with clarity and respect

Commit to 4–6 months of couples therapy with real, shared motivation

How the Process Works

You will meet with the counselor both together and one-on-one. These individual conversations are essential because you are starting from different places emotionally and logistically.

The counselor will:

  • Respect the “leaning out” partner’s doubts and reasons for considering divorce
  • Support the “leaning in” partner’s hopes for repairing the marriage
  • Help each partner see their contributions to the challenges and the possibilities for change
  • Create space for steady, thoughtful decision-making—not panic-driven choices

This insight is valuable even if the marriage ultimately ends.

Duration of Counseling

Discernment Counseling is brief and focused—typically 1 to 5 sessions.

  • First session: 2 hours
  • Subsequent sessions: 1.5–2 hours

This short-term format gives couples enough space to evaluate the marriage without moving too quickly toward either reconciliation or separation.

William Devorick is certified in Discernment Counseling in Pennsylvania

Trained through the Doherty Relationship Institute. View his national listing here.

Begin your discernment counseling process
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